


Sleep Deprivation, Disney and Flashcards

by imnotokay_imgay



Series: Sanders Sides [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logince - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24501934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotokay_imgay/pseuds/imnotokay_imgay
Summary: "MAJORLY SLEEP DEPRIVED IS NOT FINE!"
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767496
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Sleep Deprivation, Disney and Flashcards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [addicted_2_fandoms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/addicted_2_fandoms/gifts).



> What's up chucklefucks. Have a great day.
> 
> Nox

_Keep moving, never stop moving, always forward. If you stay still, everything will fall apart, and when the illusion collapses they won't like you anymore._ Logan had never thought any differently. Always be neat and sharp, have nerdy facts ready, and never let anything slip out from the cool façade. Pressed black shirt, grey trousers, blue tie. The same thing every day, because that was who he was. Logic. But sometimes, things did slip, and he prayed to every god ever that no one noticed. At first, it was small things. He didn't pop up at quite the right time, he was a few seconds late, but none of the others commented. His tie was looser than usual, and again no one commented. Then it got bigger. He would stutter sometimes, brining a raised eyebrow from Roman and concerned glances from Virgil and Patton. He waved them off quickly, not wanting them to realise that the mask was slipping. Then he turned up one day with a crumpled shirt and shadows under his eyes. He had stayed up late looking through flash cards, trying to memorise things. Virgil was clearly concerned but didn't want to say anything. Patton didn't even notice. Good. Logan breathed a sigh of relief. Roman popped up and took one look at Logan before disappearing. He didn't come back for a while. Now Logan wondered. Did Roman hate him?

It was another two weeks before Logan saw Roman again. He popped up in the common area and was shocked to find Roman and Patton having an argument. Patton. Having and argument. With Roman.

"It isn't fine. He's not okay. Have you seen him recently?"

Were they talking about him? But the thing was, Roman hadn't seen him recently so they couldn't be. Patton's reply was scathing, something that didn't sound natural coming from him.

"Look kiddo, he's smart and he can take care of himself. He seems fine."

"MAJORLY SLEEP DEPRIVED IS NOT FINE!"

Oh great, now Roman was full on screaming in Patton's face. They had yet to notice Logan, but by now he was almost certain they were talking about him. Him or Virgil. 

"Ro, kiddo-"

"DON'T 'RO' ME AND DON'T 'KIDDO' ME EITHER."

Patton was silent. Roman didn't yell, not at Patton. The only people he had ever yelled at were Remus (and they were twins so it didn't count) and Deceit, when he was picking on Logan and Virgil. But never before had he yelled at Patton, and that made Logan worry that something was seriously wrong.

"He's okay, Roman. He always has been, and he'd tell us if something was wrong."

But Roman wouldn't be comforted by that. He spun on his heel and went to storm out, running straight into Logan. His eyes widened, and he popped out of view. By this point Patton had realised he was standing there.

"What was that all about?"

Answer? Nothing. Patton just stood and stared at him, enough to make Logan uncomfortable. _Don't fidget. You're logical, you don't get anxious. Keep up the façade, just until you can both go._ So he stood, stock still, as Patton looked him up and down, no doubt seeing the loose tie, rumpled shirt and pants, tousled hair, askew glasses. Seeing it, and ignoring it the same way he always had. But honestly, Logan couldn't hold it against him. He did try to act like everything was okay. But then Patton sank out, and Logan was alone again. _Did I let the mask slip? Do they all know that something is wrong with me? Do they...hate me?_

Another week passed before he saw anyone else. And of course, it was Roman. Roman, who came tiptoeing into his bedroom at two in the morning, and saw him half asleep at his desk studying flash cards, sitting there in a crumpled shirt and pants, his glasses askew and his hair tousled from running his hands through it. Roman, who saw him straighten in his seat a moment too late, desperately try to pat down his hair and straighten his glasses. 

"Why are- aren't you asleep?"

Hypocrite. He knew he was being a hypocrite. And he hated himself all the more for it. He knew that he looked messy and imperfect right now, shadows under his eyes and shaking hands. But Roman was staring at him as he never had before, like maybe, Logan was a person. He looked down, hoping that Roman hadn't noticed the slight redness of his eyes caused by lack of sleep and...crying. Roman sat on his desk, and Logan automatically went to reprimand him but the only things that came out was a yawn. 

"Why am I awake? Is that even a question, Lo?"

And he had to admit, it wasn't much of a question. He expected something mocking from Roman, because they had never gotten along as well as Roman and Virgil had. Roman liked to push boundaries and be loud and flirty, Logan liked to have set rules and be quiet and restrained. So they had chafed. But lately, Roman hadn't made so many snide remarks. He had stopped telling Logan that he needed to lighten up, and even more surprising, he had started asking how Logan was when they crossed paths. He had even made breakfast a few times, complete with coffee, just the way Logan liked it. And every single time Logan had stuttered or yawned or fidgeted, Roman had noticed and given him a raised eyebrow. But Roman had never looked at him like this before, like he was human and relatable. Like he was just Logan, another person, someone he could be friends with.

"Lo, it's two in the morning. How come you aren't asleep? You looked absolutely exhausted."

Oh...concern was the last thing that Logan was expecting. But Roman clearly expected an answer. So he gave the most Logan-esque answer that he could manage.

"I was just studying for tomorrow. I was wondering about an expression I'd heard today. Anyway, you're awake too. Why are you awake? And could you remove yourself from my desk please?"

Roman was frowning at him now.

"I came to check on you. I saw your light on and I thought...I thought maybe you'd forgotten to turn it off."

That was sweet of him. Logan had no idea what to say.

"We should probably both get to bed. I'll see you in the morning, Roman."

He stood up, and Roman did too. As he stood, the room spun around him, and he leaned on the desk until things seemed almost normal again. He looked at Roman and saw open concern. Did Roman seem tired too? But Roman didn't do anything except put an arm around him and lead him to his bed. He was aware of the fact that he was stumbling a bit and leaning on Roman as though he were drunk, but Roman didn't seem to mind. He walked Logan to the bed and made him lie down before pulling the covers up. Roman ran a gentle hand through Logan's hair, before pulling away and walking to the door.

"Night, Lo. See you in the morning."

With that he walked out of the room, flicking off the lights behind him. And with the memory of Roman's nice words and hand running through his hair, he drifted into a peaceful sleep for the next six hours.

The next morning, as Logan walked downstairs, he could smell coffee. As he walked into the kitchen he found a plate of toast and jam (loganberry crofters, his favourite), a cup of hot coffee, and a note. The penmanship wasn't exactly neat, but it was full of flourishes and swirls. 

**Morning, Logan,  
Hope you enjoy your breakfast. I'm out today, but I'll be back this evening. We can watch Disney together and/or I can help you make some more flash cards? Either way, I hope you slept well last night, you looked exhausted.  
** **Roman.**

Surprisingly, he had slept well. The toast and coffee were excellent, and he decided he might just take Roman up on his offer. Disney and flash cards actually sounded pretty good. But before he could contemplate it more, Patton walked in. 

"You look happy this morning, Logan."

And really, what could he say to that? He was happy. But there were certain things he wasn't ready to admit, even to himself. The flutter of anticipation at the thought of spending some time with Roman. The careful attention he had payed to each bright red swirl and flourish on the note. The small smile he hadn't been able to stop when he saw that Roman had made him breakfast and tried to think of something that Logan would enjoy doing. The urge to reach out and smooth down Roman's hair, run his fingers through it and mess it up so he could fix it again. How smooth and soothing Roman's voice was when he sang, or the charisma and charm when he spoke. The way his heart beat that little bit faster every time Roman complimented him or gave him some random observation he'd made about him that day. The irrational urge to check his reflection because maybe he would run into Roman. So he just gave Patton a small smile and nodded to him. When he finished his coffee he waited for Patton. He didn't know why. He just felt like some company. Together the two of them did the breakfast dishes and made small talk, how Logan's studies were going and where Roman was that day and how well Virgil was coping lately. They even talked about Janus and Remus, how the two were notably absent from most proceedings lately. Of course, they weren't the most well liked, but they were part of the group. There was a framed photograph on the kitchen wall, and it was the only one that had all of them together. They were all smiling and they all looked happy. But as Logan stared at it, he could see more tiny details. Roman was looking at him slightly, his head not quite facing the camera. Patton had one hand placed protectively on Virgil's shoulder. Remus and Deceit were holding hands, their fingers intertwined. But he was focussed on himself, his slightly crooked tie, his faintly flushed cheeks and the shadows under his eyes. He turned away. There wasn't time for this.

Disney and flashcards with Roman. Good fun. Roman quoting the movies and singing along. Logan writing flashcards and Roman helping his to interpret different movie scenes. Sometimes he would add a note to the card in his messy scrawl. Logan couldn't help but to stare at his added comments, the bright res swirls and flourishes holding his attention. But he didn't say anything to Roman, because who knew how he would react.

"Thank you for doing this with me, Roman. It was fun."

Roman smiled at him, quieter than usual.

"Yeah, it was. Do you want to do it again sometime, Lo?"

Logan nodded, and they both sank out into their respective bedrooms.

Disney and flashcards became a weekly ritual for the two of them. They watched a different movie every week, and Logan made more and more cards. The ones that had notes added by Roman were stored safely and securely away in his room. He would read through them sometimes, often surprised by Roman's insight into characters. He was smarter than Logan gave him credit for. But mostly, he was just studying the writing, loops and swirls and flourished letters, sometimes little hearts or flowers around the border. But although he and Roman were getting on better now he never gave any sign that he was falling in deeper and deeper. He dressed smartly every single day, pressed shirt and pants, straight tie, polished shoes, neatly styled hair. He couldn't afford to let that slip, it was the only thing he had. Once it was gone, he was nothing. He was smart, but he wasn't good in social situations, with humour and feelings. He wasn't the best looking guy by a long way, average brown hair and eyes, glasses. So once he threw away the careful appearance of not caring about being alone and that his favourite thing to do was study on his own, what was he? Glass, fragile and utterly breakable. Only once did he let the mask slip, and he saw Roman's reaction. Surprise, at seeing him dishevelled and sleepy, so he never did it again.

Until the day he did. Well, not quite. Logan was getting ready for Disney and flashcards when Roman staggered in and collapsed on his bed, a quiet groan coming as he landed hard on the soft mattress, right on his butt. Logan started, he hadn't expected Roman to come crashing into his bedroom. He went to shake Roman but then Roman stared up at him, eyes bleary and bloodshot. His hair was a mess, sticking out is all directions, and his clothes were rumpled and dirty. Logan wanted to make a fuss about the mess Roman was making on his bed, but looking down at the hapless man, he couldn't bring himself to be angry. He looked as though he were struggling to keep his eyes open. Then he noticed the bandage. It was unusual for Roman to come back from his adventures with bruises and scrapes, but he'd never needed a bandage before. It wasn't actually a bandage, it was Roman's sash. And...was it a deeper red than usual.

"Logan."

The word was quiet, and the voice was shaky. He didn't think he'd ever heard Roman this quiet before, this uncertain. It was disconcerting to realise that Roman, for all his cheerfulness and bravado, was a vulnerable and fragile as he was. There were no barriers, no walls or awkwardness. There was just simply Roman, sitting on his bed, and Logan, staring at him in surprise. 

"First aid kit, please."

So Logan fetched the first aid kit. Bandages, antiseptic cream, disinfectant, gauze. Then Roman started to unwrap the bandage from around his arm, and Logan saw exactly how bad it was. There was a long and deep wound, the edges crusted with dried blood, still slowly oozing the dark red liquid. Roman reached for the disinfectant and carefully poured it over a clean gauze pad. He started to wipe the gauze over the wound, before he stopped and pulled it away, eyes shut tight and lips pressed into a thin line. Logan knew exactly what the issue was. It stung like hell. The wound looked clean enough though, so he took the gauze and placed it to one side, seeing Roman's eyes pop open.

"Logan?"

He didn't answer. He picked up the cream and smeared it over a new gauze pad, placing it over the wound and bandaging it. Roman's eyes were closing again. He fell backwards so he was sprawled on the bed, all long limbs and lanky gracefulness. Logan wanted to tell him off, tell him to go back to his room, but Roman was already half asleep. He took Roman's hand gently, and squeezed.

"I'm going to go get some water, get you a drink."

"Stay."

And since Roman was still holding his hand, he didn't really have much of a choice. He lay down next to Roman, not letting go of his hand. Roman rolled over, being careful of his injured arm. He wriggled closer to Logan. Logan could feel his body heat, could smell detergent and strawberries and blood faintly coming from him. Roman still had his hand and was now almost close enough to hug.

"Night, Lo. Love you."

Logan was so glad Roman had his eyes shut, because he was pretty sure his cheeks were flushed. He thought Roman might already be asleep so he whispered a quiet 'love you too' in return and drifted off to sleep.

A kiss on the cheek before bedtime or at breakfast. A hug before leaving or when coming back. A note on the table or pillow. Holding hands in the dark. It was quiet and peaceful.


End file.
